you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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