every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
