My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
