john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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