Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
