Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
