i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I understand Curling. That high.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
