He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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