theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
