My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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