dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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