what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize