I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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