Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
