dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
