What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
