OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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