TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
