Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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