Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize