I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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