absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
