Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize