Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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