Your dad touched me again.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Shame is for Republicans.
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