is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i out mim tonsoeep
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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