My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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