You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
