So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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