can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
