Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
