If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
