can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
