the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
