apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We need to get me chipped asap
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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