dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
