a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
