just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
