Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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