those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize