problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
