This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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