I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
