I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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