I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
