Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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