road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
