BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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