smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize