I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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