I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize