Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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