6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
