how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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