dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
