her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
