it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
