Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
