Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
