Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize