new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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