The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize