And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
