Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
