i think my tv is drunk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
