I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
